MidWorld

[AN: Intermission 2...]

   Sakura district was known for its trained warriors of ninja. Two of the known families were the Kanami and the Aozora. A war broke out during the year 1854 and many were sent to fight. Sadly it ended on a draw and they decided to stop this foolishness. The last fight was when the Aozora’s heir died.
   Ayako was sitting by her garden of roses making her self invisible to others. It had been days since she last went out of her mansion. Rumors were going around saying that she had been depressed because of Yuki’s death. Ever since he died, she had secluded herself from the outside.
   Haru refused to believe these rumors but they seemed true to him. He was Yuki’s younger brother. The three of them had been the best friends since they were children.
   As he was walking by Market Street, he heard the other girls, about his age, gossiping about his best friend.
   “Ayako has been locking herself for weeks now.”
   “Suits her best, that slut…”
   “Yeah. Who does she think she is?”
   Aki snapped. He wasn’t a long-tempered kind of person like his brother was. He ran behind that girl and placed a knife by her neck. He slowly whispered these words into her ear.
   “Call Ayako a ‘slut’ again and I won’t hesitate to shut you up, for eternity.”
   She gulped and nodded. The others just remained gaping at the situation, not a single word out. Good. When he had finally left them alone, that girl collapsed to the ground slightly trembling. Her friends helped her stood back upright again.
   “He may look like Yuki but they are still different.”
   “Right. I liked Yuki better.”
   Those girls whispered among themselves and then walked away. He gritted his teeth. He knew the reason why they called her a slut but that wasn’t true at all. Just because Ayako and Yuki liked each other, it didn’t mean that she seduced him.
   Haru quickened his pace and arrived home in less than half an hour. As soon as he arrived at his own room, he lied down at his bed facing the ceiling. He tried to punch the air trying to let his anger out.
   Why is it that everyone is trying to blame Yuki’s death on Ayako? Why is it that they always compared me with my brother? Why can’t I be just myself? Why do they try to force us to accept the things that we didn’t do? Why pretend to be someone not me? Why can’t you just understand?
   It was already dark when Haru woke up. He didn’t notice that he had already fallen asleep. He changed into something more comfortable. He placed something inside his pocket and went out of the house through the window.
   For him, it wasn’t dangerous. He was as skilled as his brother was. It wasn’t really allowed that children would run around during night fall. He ran stealthily from roof to roof until he reached the Kanami mansion.
   He looked for Ayako in her room but she wasn’t there. She wasn’t also in her garden. He remembered that certain place that held many memories for the three of them. The hilltop where Yuki was now buried.
   He was sure of this.  He hurriedly ran towards that place and as he guessed Ayako was there. She was wearing her white kimono that had cherry blossom as a design.
   “I guessed you would be here,” Haru tried to start a conversation.
   Ayako was praying in front of Yuki’s grave. When she finished, she looked at Haru. He always reminded him of Yuki in some way.
   “You have something to say I presume.”
   Haru nodded. Ayako took a deep breathe and braced herself.
   “I want you… to kill me.”
   “What?”
   Haru looked up the starry sky. “I don’t want to go on living anymore. They always blame us for his death. Isn’t that just unfair? I have no regrets. I have nothing to live for anyway.”
   Ayako laughed. There was a hint of pain in her voice. “No one cares for you? That must be a lie. I can’t really kill you. Why, you ask? I have realized it… Even before he went to the last war, he told me goodbye. He knew all along that he wasn’t going to live, not going to survive. I didn’t cry but I did believe him. Then he told me the reason why I didn’t cry for him. It was because my feelings weren’t really for him. They were for you.”
   Haru looked away. He had confessed to her when they were still little but Ayako turned him down. He could still remember it as if it was yesterday.
   “Then, is it true?”
   “Yes,” she replied sadly.
   “Ayako, I don’t have feelings for you anymore. I…”
   “I know… I know that Haru. But I really loved you. I’m so stupid for not realizing it myself. I am blaming myself. Why are we so different Haru? Why don’t you have any regrets?” Ayako’s tears were streaming down her face. “I don’t want to be bound with sadness. I don’t want to be blamed. I don’t want any of this. I want to be free. I almost wished I wasn’t born on this family. I always wanted freedom.”
   Ayako hugged Haru. Haru watched her as she cried her heart out to him.
   "Freedom…eh?"
   Ayako nodded.
   "I wish freedom… for the three of us…"
   His voice was carried by the wind and the night became silent.
   The following day, the two of them were found dead beside Yuki’s grave. A bloody sword between them. Both had a stab through the stomach. They had committed suicide.
   A month later. A letter was found on Yuki’s desk in his room.

Ayako, Haru… by the time you had read this I may be dead. I know I was going to die beforehand. Why? Because I don’t want to live anymore. The three of us being together wasn’t really allowed. This was the reason why I always wanted us to find our own spot. I…knew that the two of you both have feelings for each other. I wanted to make you together but Ayako… you didn’t really know that your feelings were for my brother… I love you… but you couldn’t love me back as much. It hurts me but I’m happy that I finally told you the truth. With this I could die peacefully. I don’t want to suffer from this illness anymore…I hope the two of you are doing fine…

   There were little drops of blood on the letter. It was sad that they weren’t able to read Yuki’s letter but at the least the achieved their freedom… Or did they?

[AN: This is a short story. If by coincedence it is the same with your situation I have (absolutely) no knowledge about that. This is originally made by ME!!]

*****

   When I think about it, I wasn’t really a genuinely happy person. True, I may have smiled almost every time but it seemed as if those times were just to make them convinced that I was alright. I don’t want anyone to worry about me because I might just become a burden.
   I remembered those times that most of my classmates would come to me to be comforted of their broken hearts. No, not all of it is because of breaking up. I would give them my most gentle smile and try my very best to assure that every thing will be alright. I give them the best advices and after that they would thank me.
   It was like a never ending process. Getting hurt then being reassured; the same cycle, yet I never grew tired of it. I always want them to be happy. I don’t want anyone to be sad.
   There was also a time when I got hurt. I’m only human so it’s natural.
   My best friend and I liked the same person. She told me everything about him because she had a chance to be close to that person while I can’t. She was so happy when she talked about him so I have no choice but to endure it. I thought that someday I would tell her that I loved the same guy.
   The day came that I really want to tell her the truth. But, I heard that they had a relationship. She came to me smiling as widely as ever, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. She was so happy that my heart cried. I just can’t tell her now. I was happy for her. This time it was genuine, one of the few times.
   Every time the class ends, he was already there at the hallway waiting for her. When our eyes met, he would smile at me and it even made my heart hurt more. That smile was because of my friend. I could only pray for their happiness.
   But when I think about it, there were things that I regretted the most. During those times I felt so stupid. If only I did what my instincts told me, but I wouldn’t. I was not born to be selfish. I learned to sacrifice even if it hurts. I have almost become numb because of the loneliness I have felt. I was almost a perfect plan to be able to be a sacrificing person but…
   Before I knew it, my heart began to open up to a person. It was as if I was not burdening all of the negative feeling. He was so caring that I fell in love with him. We became so close that most of his secrets were kept by me.
   Then a time came, he confessed to me. I was so happy but I didn’t accept it. Yes, stupid silly me. I was afraid that if he would be gone I would be all alone again trying to heal those wounds. I was so scared that I would almost sound like a hypocrite to all those who I had given advice. But still, I didn’t accept it.
   The atmosphere between the two of us began to grow apart. I forced myself to become the smiling idiot again. What became of him? He found another girl that he cherished the most. At least, he is happy now. I can’t become a nuisance… but I still regret it.
   If only I accepted him, we might be as happy as all the other couples out there. If only, I told my best friend about the fact that we liked the same guy, we might have had a chance. All these statements will only remain as they are. They are the past.
   After I recovered from that heartache, I became a fake; a pretend. I was happy on the outside. I appreciated what they’ve done for me. But that was not true. I kept the truth hidden and I became a liar. Lying seems to be much faster way to please people. I became a two-faced person yet nobody seemed to notice that.
   I hated those time. I almost hated everyone for not noticing my real self. I would try to resurface it but I was afraid that they would not accept me so I try to hide it again.
I found someone who almost found it but she disappointed me. She was like everyone else that didn’t notice. But still I could not hate them.
I never learned to hate or to be selfish. I only know how to please and make everyone happy. Besides the fact that I made everyone else happy, I still regretted every thing I had done.
   And now, as I write this as the last entry I wished that someday, I too will find the happiness that I seek. I want to be at least try being a little selfish and strive to get what I want; not just sacrifice for others but also for myself. I…I want to be able to be myself and be free from this pretend.
   Someday…may it come true…

*****

[AN: This is an intermission for 'The Arranged Marriage'... Thank you]